HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVRYONE! In celebration of halloween, i was eating pumpkin bread for like 3 days straight. Super yummy. Fionn and i wanna be a part of freak fashion tonight but DUH, look whats ahead?! I would want to dress up as a dracula. OMG. So cool please. Just pray hope that there aint any ppl dressing up as clowns. But anyway, its O-LVL year & i cant spend this eerie night with my loves. I love eerie stuffs. Oh well...anyway, was watching amazing race ytd. I support sam and dan full force. Anyone too? I like mika and canaan actl, but mika didnt complete the slide thingo. My ulcer is getting so big i feel like snipping off my lip. Oh ya, i think i am gonna flunk my chemistry. AHHHHHH! *faints* I think i am gonna fail history too! AHHHHH!

My obsession with blood is back again. This time, stronger. I was like peeling my wound and it was like bleeding and ray was screaming. But i was laughing hysterically. Seriously, whats wrong with me? BYE!

p.s vivian, i cant download 'only you'. smth wrong, so i think u must sing for me to hear lor. HAHAHA. See u soon! ^o^

im like mentally times physically worn out alr. Its only friday, its only the first week of o lvls. Coming dwn with a fever soon. Too much chicken essence i guess, the side effects? A gigantic ulcer to see me thru my entire o lvls. I swear its so big, its affecting my mood. Plus, my periods are back again. Feel like i am dying soon. Maths are over. Both a and e. Gosh, nx week is madness, just pray hope i can stay sane and not go insane. Induction camp tdy, kinda miss my camper and instructor days, its all over. Its me and the bloody o's now. I say, study hard and i can play hard in nov. Oh yes, changing a phone like finally. Blackberry i guess? Lets see if dad is willing for that plan. Oh anyway, i didnt study for amath paper 2 ytd. Was re-watching antm on channel 5. London, i love you =( Shall watch cycle 13 aft o's. The number of dramas are like piling up and im like erupting! I can only commit the rest of my papers to God and like do my part and have faith in Him. What can i say? Pastor Lim's message last sunday was good. Tuition tmr....

BOOOM!. THE PIMPLES! BANG, THE BOOKS.

chemistry now. bye bye.

So sick

let it die.

TOMORROW

it.starts.tomorrow

it.ends.tomorrow

war.and.freedom.respectively.

bye

chinese

我要看海派甜心！

刚起来不久，大家都已经起床到IMM吃早餐了，剩下我一个人在家吃面包。我非常期待到台湾！想想看。。。有吃的，有好看的，有好玩的，也有好多东西卖哦~ 我的妈呀！我恨不得12月快点来啊！昨天，我做了一个恐怖的梦。。。（最近的梦都不好，不知我是不是快死了？！）我梦见自己在一个小屋子里，一个人哭泣，然后，又一位长得很丑的人过来我身旁，刺了我一刀。就这样，我一个人，孤零零的死在小屋里。。。

不知是不是因我最近常有要自杀的念头所以才做了这无聊及恐怖的梦。反正，我真的觉得自己太丑了！需要一个大改照！

=（ Monday starting soon....就是说。。。OLEVELS 要来咯！=（

也就是说。。。TAIPEI, im coming!~

加油！

Automatic- Tokio Hotel

Skipped geog lessons today to stay home. I was really slacking my guts out yesterday. Very very bad. So i musnt do that today. Anyway, getting really overly excited about my new sewing machine! Mum said she'll get me a half mannequin too~ OMG, so excited. The things to do after olvls are overflowing. Slumber part-ey at my place and fionn's place. Do nails, do hair, do face. Talk about our terrible body, talk about disgusting guys, talk about so many stuffs. Hog onto their laptops and watch dramas all night. That reminds me, i have SOOO MANY THINGS to watch after o's. So maybe this will be like my motivation meanwhile? HAHAHA. Okay, its a fabulous friday and its a pity that i cant get my butt off the chair to run a few rounds round the park to tone my disgusting legs and add a size to my thread-like calves. Okay. School is starting on monday = horror begins. Im living in horror nearly everyday so its okay.

k bye~ =)

Full time adoration

See you soon!

Hopefully daddy can receive his letter of posting to Nanjing really soon. I really cant wait to study abroad and further my studies in a path that i want. Seriously, this life sucks. I cant wait to break free from the monotony. School tmr. Have a great night ppl.

XOXO

Coco Rocha. Okay, anyway, i spent 2h40mins doing amath tdy. Shall bathe and then eat my sushi before doing some english and physics and hopefully, history. Realised that im running out of time. Well, with that said, perhaps i'll be on a partial hiatus starting fr tmr. Fingers crossed. So eggcited for my sewing machine. Oh ya, dad might be posted to Nanjing for 3years. So when that day comes, i'll bid the humid singapore g'bye and my loveable babes g'dbye and say hello to chinese culture and hello boarding school. Mixed feelings though.

BYE.

50 Reactions

Browsing thru blogs. Came across this. Felt bored. Decided to give it a go.

1. Beer: a good refuge
2. Food: is good
3. Relationships: are a waste of time
4. Your CRUSH: (its stupid believing in crushes)
5. Power Rangers: cute!
6. Life: is ugly
7. The President: who?
8. Yummy: bat kut teh
9. Cars: many carina?!?

10. Movies: with fionn and vivian soon.

11. Halloween: WOOOO! DRESSING UP :)
12.Colour: Black, red, grey

13. Sport: running round school when late?

14. Hate: has been living within me for 16 years.
15. Fear: of people
16. Marriage: is stupid
17. Blondes: are cool! :)
18. Slippers: are comfy
19. Shoes: that carry me?!
20. Asians: thats me

21. Pass time: eating
22. One night stand: fionn tan. HAHAHA
23. My cell Phone: dropped it yesterday

24. Smoke: ...the past haunts me.
25. Fantasy: i wish i could live in mine.
26. College: tough
27. High school life: tough
28. Pajamas: my tikoh friend.

29. Stars: tattoos
30. Center: of attraction, which i obviously aint.
31. Alcohol: rocks my socks. APPLE SHOOTERS AND JAGGERBOMB
32. The word love: is a lie
33. Friends: are something money cant buy
34. Money: cant buy friends
35. Heartache: everyday
36. Time: is essence
37. Divorce: sucks
38. Dogs: like my mother
39. Undies: g string is sexy
40. Parents: are annoying
41. Babies: are noisy
42. Ex: expensive house one day!
43. Song: already gone (kelly clarkson)

44. Cartoon: not for me

45. Weddings: never getting married

46. Pizza: yummy!

47. Hangout: at on and my place for slumber aft o's
48. Rest: restroom?
49. Goal: parsons
50. Inspiration: alexander wang

pervertic lil'

Start this post specially. Not by starting it with the usual : "I AM SO UGLY"

I'll start it with something personal. My interest. :)

Recently, i had been more into stuffs like blood, black, anything that can be related to things that are dark intrigue me. I loved black for a really long time, and oh yea, not forgetting to mention that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO SEE PPL HAVING INJECTIONS!!! because i love it when the needle goes into your skin...OMG...SENSATIONAL.

Tdy's the official last day of school. Mixed feelings within...80% of excitement, 10% maybe missing my classmates? 10% of worry.
Began the day in the hall, with a whole string of talks by the different form teachers and then there were the usual lessons stuffs. Felt really ugly today like times 10000 of yesterday. I feel as though i am losing myself very soon. This very second, i yearn for something like a wind that can sweep me off my feet and whisk me off from this brutal reality. Tried numerous times to restrict myself from having that mini thought of dying but the thought could never be aborted. These few days, the feeling came in so strong and distinct. Unwanted, lost, ugly, failure. I am such a loser. I cannot cherish things around me and things that i have. There are ppl around me who do not even have a roof over their heads but they never even had the thought of giving up. It irks me. I hate myself for being so weak. So loserish. So unreal.

feeling jealous of a few people now. i cannot seem to stop myself from feeling jealous of them. sometimes, i want to be like them so much, i try and try over and over again and fall down so hard. Hoping the be like them, practising to be like them, but i had never been able to be a step nearing my goal. I hate them. I hate them for having what i dont.

Im ugly. Be it on the outside or inside. Really.

ASIAN BEAUTIES

im gg taiwan in december. so excited! Anyway, there are asian beauties too! Like yoon eunhye, and rainie yang!

Felt really ugly tdy and decided to find some pictures of ugly things like clowns. I hate clowns but im searching for gory pictures to scare myself and tell myself that they are uglier than me. But apparently, its not working. Im hungry. Had been skipping lunch recently to study for longer hours in the library. Oh well, i eat rather much in recess but my appetite is that of a bull and a heavy recess definately would not see me thru the entire day. So, i will eat alot tmr! So hungry. Feel like eating so many things. Mee sua, mee bandung, mee siam, mee soto, mee rebus, mee hoon kuey, bat kut teh, roti prata, rojak, popiah, tom yam, stingray, KFC.

Okay, bye.

i am green with envy.

envious of the things and ppl around me.

='(

LONG WHINY POST 02.

bad mozzie woes and i think im coming dwn with a fever soon. damn.
today, i nearly gave myself away. sometimes, i write my emotions all over my face and it can be read so easily by others. (BAD) and then there would also be times when i put on this silly masquerade and bury my feelings frm the realities of life. (BAD)
either way, im always doing the BAD stuffs. Choices. They are so had to make and a myraid of considerations to ponder.

I asked myself again, what am i hankering after? There isnt a definite answer in my head now like there used to be last time. Oh. Time really flies. Soon, i'll be sitting in the hall, doing the papers (hopefully not at my wits end). Then, soon enuff, i would be able to purchase my sewing machine. Timing is evtg. So let me not waste time now. There are so many stuffs i wanna do cus i havent been doing much recently.

Today, i felt really ugly. Inside and outside. Everywhere. Im just losing myself. I see myself growing uglier and uglier day by day and more and more childish day by day. My friends grow prettier and more matured and finds the drive to do stuff. I feel inferior and i tend to shut myself out frm the world and live in my own. This is so not me. I used to be able to talk things out with ppl and share abt my feelings. But now, somehow or another, i find myself alone on earth and i somehow or another have already vanished from the crowd.
Do u feel this way too? I feel miserable. Really....

LONG WHINY POST, AGAIN

sucks. everything just sucks. shame is five-fingered. i had brought evtg unto myself. i deserve it. stop reproaching! start resolving.

my sentences are shrinking in number. i guess one fine day, i might just end up saying "oh" or "huh" for the day. despite the fact that i had been able to contrl my temper better nowadays, i cannot seem to get a grip of my emotions. they are like hay-wire and they short circuit any time of the year. ytd, something so sudden happen. it set me thinking and realising how short life is. it got me thinking and wondering if i had been appreciating the things and ppl around me. i hadnt, obviously. this is a crucial period of the year. this is the time where i cannot allow setbacks to deter me from advancing to the nx stage..u know, like a game. though i dont play any games, i rekon its something like that.

a fire will burn itself out if u dont add any oil to it. well, it goes to say. everything will come to an end. i shld stop bothering abt such unneccesary stuffs and concentrate on how to improve my grades and set my engines going, once again.

periods are back. they are so irregular. but its not mind-boggling anymore. s-t-r-e-s-s. what is stress? i guess im in no position to say it since i havnt start studying full force. i am such a disgrace to myself, to my family and to this human race.

i need a plastic surgery. instantly! no wait, im plastic enough.
bye.

aft turning 16, my perspective on things turned 180deg. its good, its bad. everything is two sided. life's like a coin. ciaos. mini hiatus.

Its wednesday. Things arent falling in place as nicely or as well as i had planned them out to be. I guess, thats the reality of life. Brutal, bitter, harsh and totally unexpected. So many things can happen in one day, sweeping your feets off the ground, teleporting you from a world of joy into the direct opposite. I dont know how long more would i be able to put up with the nonsense around me. Trying my hardest to treat noise as peace and peace as virtue, this way, i would be able to keep my cool and the appreciate things to a greater extent.

W for wednesday. W for warm. W for whatever. As much as i want to say whatever, i cant. Because she is my friend and as a friend and as someone who is in touch with her almost 24/7, yes cus we hog onto our phones like glue and paper, i really hope she can start learning how to control her tongue. Okay, love u always.

xoxo

Pretty Girls

I cant do anything but be envious about their height, body, hair, teeth, eyes, nose and evtg.

Im always a loser in my eyes, in your eyes and i even think that God thinks im a loser.

Feeling really tired n drained aft tuition. Dragged myself outta bed for 8am service. Had breakfast at Hans after service aft which i proceeded hm and grab my stuffs f tuition.

With the sun now blazing and prickling my bloody dry skin, i wish i had a tub of icecream to indulge in right now. This very instant. Food, this is my only route to finding myself and keeping my soul sane.

Bye

Dont make sweeping statements. Think before you act.
These are my thoughts f tdy.
It warms the heart to see acts of kindness and goodwill. These acts have been beacons of hope in a rapidly callous world.
Had macdonalds breakfst w best tdy before making our way to sch for phy remedials. Alright, seriously hope that i'll make full use of my time tdy at home and to rape my textbooks outside in, inside out. CIAOS \m/

masterpiece. my brain is so exhausted aft a series of tests tdy i can just drop dead now. had fillet-o-fish and ondeh ondeh few moments ago and i will bathe and chill in front of my computer. my brain is really exhausted and finally, its friday. the week has ended. but this is bad....this means, o lvl is nearing. i can officially say...its this month. Oh crap. Yes, i am feeling a bit anxious alr. Pimple outbreak now. I feel like wearing a mask to sch everyday to hide my shit face. okay bye.